I think im ready to man up now...

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. I’m still here in Poland, pretending to be Peter Pan, having purely sexual relationships in a life void of responsibility where no one counts on me and no one expects anything of me. There is no reason to wake up before noon. I spend my days writing, reading, drinking, and chasing pussy. I have so much free time that I decided to learn Polish, one of the hardest languages in the world, just for the hell of it. I feel that there should be something more to life, even if it means taking on what may initially seem like a burden.


I’m convinced that the solution is to grow up and do what society expects of me, to be a man as defined by my middle-class peers.

I will man up and fly to Washington DC. I will fix my resume, make up some amazing bullshit for the four-year gap in professional employment, and become a microbiologist again. Hopefully I won’t have a mean boss, and hopefully the HR gals like me enough so I don’t get the axe in the first round of corporate restructuring.

Once stably employed, I will man up by looking for a modest condominium in the suburbs, taking on a mortgage that is not too crushing. The mortgage will give me a respectability that my self-published fuck guides never could. Hopefully the value of my condo doesn’t decline, the condo association nazis don’t complain about my music, and no major repairs will be needed that force me to eat ramen for an extended period of time.

To get around in the suburbs, I will man up by purchasing an environmentally friendly automobile, preferably a Toyota Prius. I will finance it. I will have to budget carefully since gas, insurance, and maintenance adds up. Hopefully I don’t get into a catastrophic accident.

I will man up and enroll in a part-time graduate program by borrowing the tuition (I can get my dad to co-sign the loan since he likes it when I go to school). If I really move my ass, I can have a fresh degree in four years, which will really impress my boss and set me up for a 4.5% annual raise instead of the usual 3%. My debt load should now keep me quite busy and anxious for the next 30 years.

I will man up and find a wife on eHarmony. She’ll be my age, a handsome woman tired of being pumped and dumped, with a masculine sensibility that South American and Eastern European women don’t have. She will drastically shorten her hair six months after the wedding, and in spite of my disapproval, she will gain one pound a month until finally exploding like a whale for our first of two kids. She’ll never make the effort to lose the pregnancy weight, no matter how many subtle gym membership gifts I get her for Valentines Day, Mothers Day, her birthday, and Christmas. She will lose interest in having sex with me. The most humiliating moment of my life will be when she tells me to pump her hand while she reads a woman’s magazine. I will feel unattractive and unloved.

Once the kids are in middle school, my wife will initiate divorce proceedings because “the feeling” is no longer there. The feeling was no longer there for me either, but I was willing to make it work for our children. Nonetheless, I will man up and let her take the property, the cars, and the kids. I will pay her steep child support payments that leave me on the edge of poverty. My kids will be brainwashed against me, and hate me for the rest of their lives. I’ll hate them too, but if I stop paying child support I will be sent to prison. With little fatherly influence in their lives, my son will become a little bitch and my daughter a slut who loses her virginity at the age of 14.

I will not give up on life. I will work even harder and make wise investments until my kids are 18 and the burden of child support payments are lifted. Once eligible for social security at the age of 67, I will take my modest nest egg to a modern country with a cheap standard of living, maybe Poland. Once there, no one will count on me and no one will expect anything of me. There will no reason to wake up before noon. I’ll spend my days writing, reading, drinking, and purchasing pussy. I will have so much free time that I’ll decide to learn Polish, one of the hardest languages in the world, just for the hell of it. Yes, I’m ready to man up.

This was a little poem I found, for those denden51 fans, i'll most likely be making a video about this, oooo im so excited.

I don't donate to charity, am I a bad person?

Though the year is 2012, I haven't made a new post within a few weeks, you know what that means right? A free challenging post, by this, I mean that I'll be posting somewhat something the general public may frown upon, or whatever. I may not necessarily follow by those rules stated, though at least I'll be making more posts for you guys. Without further adieu, lets get on with my latest (at the time of writing this) brand new post...

From reading the title, most of you probably already have thought "denden51, you're a douche", though that might be true, I would like to point out that the statement said shouldn't be true due to me not donating to charity.

Why is this?
Well, lets first put this into perspective shall we?...
It's more than likely that I've been scammed before, there are scammers out there (lets face it). Different method of scams, different amounts scammed and the lack of information told to a "customer" is what determines how great a scam can be, (yes, the amount of customers is also a factor) and in terms of this situation, I've seen quite a few charity related scams out there, intentional or not, it's still rather a scam.

A few people decide to make a charity, why? Because of this psychological feeling of needing to help "people" (really those who you cant see or get in contact with) or simply the need to conform with the rest of society (people dread being the outlier). This sort of weakness is exploited by MANY scammers, ceasing opportunity on the feelings of others. Though feelings are subjective, the general thought is that, donate something to someone and they may or may not help something you have forgotten.

Anyway, sometimes, not EVERYONE involved actually knows that they are performing in a scam, some of the "higher-up" charities still produce a large quantity of what i like to call "scam money".

How can it be a scam?
Large percentages of the earned money you made is unfairly distributed to the government, if not, to people who do not deserve it. (NOTE: this is not the majority of charities, nor is it the majority of how chairities work)

For example, if a boy knocked at your door and said...
"Hello, im a charity shop, a large percentage of whatever your donation will go to my paycheck"

Then im sure the majority of you wouldn't pay as much. Not necessarily, some may even pay MORE to ensure those who require the money in needy parts of poor countries may actually receive what they wanted. Though this is not always the case.

Im not sure about you guys, but sometimes, i feel like i've been somewhat scammed by the whole thing. Pay £1 minimum to see and support an overly rich celebrity skydive from a private jet, on TV (not live), like WTF!

 I know, that using a celebrity may popularise the charity itself, and i know that sometimes, a celebrity is better than no celebrity. I just process everything, so in some unexplainable way, it's a scam. Give me back my £1.

Maybe its jealously that i don't get to skydive over national television and a moneyless-problem-worrier celebrity gets to do it, but who knows. Sometimes, I just want to see people who have never skydived before (or WILL NEVER), i think its a bit self-explanatory as to why, but maybe my £1 wouldn't seem like such a waste.

Money given, but what difference has it made? Yea, we gained a whopping £1,000,000 thanks to all your donations, keep giving more!! *1 year later*...
Little Timmy now doesn't have to walk 20 miles for dirty water! He has to walk 19.9, and if your million pound money wasn't good enough, we built a school for those kids to learn (There's nothing there) and now the kids and parents are happy (They have sweets in their hands and sound like they were forced). What happened to your £999,999.990 we had? We spent it on advertising and paying loads of people. Though again, this is NOT ALL CHARITIES, NOR AM I SAYING ITS THE MAJORITY!

I would admit, I haven't done incredibly deep research, though i've done enough. That Chris fellow from Who Wants to Be a Millionaire actually did A LOT of charity work by hand and whatnot and make such a difference to the world, his acts of selflessness have not gone unnoticed, he is the few who actually have done well for charities.

So what do you do with the money?
I don't donate to charities, i'd prefer to do the job myself (dependable on the reason), than hand some vague descriptive guy in a uniform my money to help someone somewhere in the poor part of...erm....Africa? Though, I have a heart, a small percentage of that money would go to someone who is desperately in need of it (im not talking about the guy in uniform either).

The economy isn't looking too good (unless you don't live in EU or USA), and desperate times calls for desperate measures!

Anyway, why do people try and "sell" a charity to you so badly? I was on this chatroom and some nerd tried to get me to donate to an unknown charity over the internet, which apprently deals with cancer. Im not against cancer and im not against the research of cancer, but this was over the internet and just because they were doing some Zelda event just makes it even less worth donating to me. 


And because I said I wasn't going to donate, i got kicked from the chatroom, no biggie, but what is?!

Did you enjoy my little scenario? Was pretty cool to write, someone who is against charities with justifiable reasons. What would you do if you were that guy? Also, i'll be doing more posts regarding relevance (this was somewhat of a trick). Again, sorry if i did not come up with fully justifiable reasons, which in turn, could account for this weeks poor post. I'll post something a lot more interesting to read if scenarios are a bit boring (or need to heavily be spiced up). I fell a bit lazy with writing this and hopefully, sometime this week will write something else and as usual, you can donate to me using the donation button (hehe). <--- thats why i wanted to make the post, i hope you enjoyed that joke.